Истории о Тэтчер

She [Тэтчер, - ЕТ] was nonetheless the source of much unwitting humour. Just as, in an early silent movie, when you see a man up a ladder with a pot of paint, you know with near certainty that the star is going to walk under the ladder at exactly the wrong moment, so with Thatcher. When a double entendre appeared in the offing, you felt she was certain to utter it.

At a training centre in Putney, she was introduced to an extremely large youth who was working with a giant wrench. "Goodness," she said, "I've never seen a tool as big as that!"

But Thatcher saved the best of all for her victory tour of the Falkland Islands. She was taken to inspect a large field gun, basically a ride-on lawnmower with a barrel several feet long. It was on a bluff, overlooking a plain on which another Argentine invasion might one day materialise. She admired the weapon, and the soldier manning it asked if she would like to fire a round.
"But mightn't it jerk me off?" she replied. Chris Moncrieff of the Press Association, who was covering the visit, recorded the manful struggle of the soldier to keep his face, indeed his whole body, straight.

But the prime minister's staff became very careful about Denis. On his wife's many tours abroad, he would sometimes go down to the back of the plane where he could hope for a chat and something to drink. Unfortunately, he tended to say exactly what he thought, often complaining about the country they had just visited. "Canada," he once remarked, "is full of fuck all." Another time he was asked what he had made of China. He thought for a moment, then averred: "China is full of fuck all."

One morning, he and his wife were flying to Scotland. The flight attendant asked what he would like to drink, and he said firmly: "A gin and tonic."

"Isn't it a bit early for a gin and tonic?" Mrs Thatcher inquired.

"It is never too early for a gin and tonic," he said.